The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Beth tells a story from her childhood of one of the most important annual events of her small town, Emmanuel, namely the church's Christmas pageant presenting the nativity story. At the time, however, Beth and most of the other children viewed the pageant as the boring proverbial "same old, same old" year after year, which is probably why it appealed to the adults. The pageant seemingly directed forever by Mrs. Armstrong, Beth tells of the important and highly publicized seventy-fifth anniversary edition when Mrs. Armstrong became incapacitated and Beth's "average" mom, Grace, looked down upon by the town's alpha moms including Mrs. Armstrong, volunteered to direct it. Beth's hope that her mom would do a good job, the best pageant ever, so as not to be ridiculed by the townsfolk and especially the alpha moms hit a bump when the six violent, thieving, lying, cigar-smoking, Christian-illiterate Herdman children, feared by everyone in town, including the adults, in largely being considered the worst children who ever lived, and led by the meanest and oldest, Imogene Herdman, decided not only to start attending church for reasons having nothing to do with religion, but to take over the pageant by inserting themselves into the six primary roles of Mary, Joseph, the Three Wise Men, and the Angel of the Lord.